Hey Friends,
Since I am still spending all my time working on the new website (see last post) I thought I might as well translate my first post for you, my English speaking pals.
Just this once. Here it is:
To be honest, you have sort of had it. With blogging.
Your last post got two comments.
(One was your own).
Even your best friend accidentally dropped last week that she did not read it.
And yet your fancy WordPress theme is up to standards, your social media buttons are neatly aligned, your write a post weekly and you damn well have something to say to the world.
Screw them.
Then you meet me at a party.
You say: I want to get read.
How do I write?
Of course you ask.
I am a writing teacher. I’ve written all my life.
Yet I have a confession to make: I have no idea how I do it.
And I can’t tell you how you should do it, either.
I have found it is this way with most writers.
They sit down, they start to write, and four hours later there is an article. Or a blog post.
Thank you very much, you say.
That’s a great help.
I know, it is disappointing.
But wait, I can help.
First let me explain.
There are two kinds of writers: professionals and amateurs.
Or rather, three: professionals who know what they are doing, professionals who write based on intuition, and amateurs.
The first are the best writers.
They write with purpose, they create effect, they use wit. They are clear, gripping, convincing. It does not matter wheter the writing is for advertising, newspaper or a novel; the techniques are the same.
That is what you want to do, too.
For if you write catchingly and convincingly, you have a chance to stand out outline.
Erst kommt das Schreiben, dann die SEO.
But how can you learn that, quickly?
I would not know.
I mean, I know that you can learn. And fast, too, if you have some talent.
A combination of practice and theory will get anyone a long way.
But how you learn?
No idea.
The process of writing is so complicated (like playing the violin or driving a car) that no one can ever just tell you how to duplicate it. Or which step to take first, and which second.
You see.
Of course, you have to have a general idea of what you’re going to say.
But no more than that.
You need room to wiggle.
That vague idea stays in the back of your mind while you are looking for the right words. For interesting words to say boring things, for simple words to describe complicated things, for bombastic words to make your reader laugh, for tender whisperings to show her you love her.
As you would like to be loved.
And while you should be a specialist on your subject matter, the question you try to answer must be a new one each time you write.
And it should be a fraction too difficult.
Not too much, but not too little either.
This is a matter of precision.
It should be just difficult enough to get you out of your comfort zone.
If not, your writing will be dull.
You need to keep the act of writing exciting for yourself.
Anyway, you will find all of this out soon enough.
As soon as you start to practice, practice, practice.
The one thing you need to know now is where to start.
Amazingly enough they don’t teach you in school.
Whereas it is so simple.
For professional writing, there is only one ground rule:
It is all about the reader. It is not at all about you.
To be frank, no one cares about you.
I know, it is painful, but is has to be said.
So if you write, you write for me. Your reader.
You want me to read you?
Then court me.
Flatter me.
Make me laugh.
Make me blush.
Insult me and quickly make it up again.
Not with a hundred roses, but with a thousand.
Show me you understand me.
That you love me, for who I am.
Let me know all the while that you are at my side, and thinking of me.
That you think I am special.
And attractive.
No, honestly!
Silly.
Whatever you write about: you are taking me for a ride.
You are my guide. Pick me up at home, drive me around without a glitch, amuse me the whole goddamn time. Drop me off exactly when you promised.
For, you see, I want to trust you completely.
So do not disappoint me.
Not for a second.
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Thank you for translating this .. just once :-) so true. I think practice, practice, practice is the most valuable advice. Then you get complacent writing on your own blog. Then you get nervouse when asked to write on other (much more widely read) blogs. Just endured that hell this morning. I’ll let you know how it turns out …
kitty you write so well, so engagingly. I repeat: Great voice! But… everyone’s time is split between so many things today… isn’t it?? How does one get read? I haven’t tried to find out, really. But keep updating me on how you are getting along, and I will keep following, at whatever pace I can. xx
Thanks! About finding an audience – I would know how to do it if I lived in a country with great blogs, but out here it is a bit more difficult. Working on it. However, I am enjoying myself while doing it, which is the main thing, it is not about fame or money really..
Brilliant. As usual.
Attractive, too. ;) What’s not to like?
Seriously, I’m always delighted when I make a stop over here. Glad I found you, Kitty.
Dear Kitty, I was linked to your blog through Gary Schwartz, a friend and fellow Rembrandt-scholar. I have been writing “(self-)consciously” since about 16: poems, journals, notes, some stories–publishing nothing. Yet my writing skills enabed me to become a translator. I am not of the generation that “naturally” gravitates to and agitates in the internet, and not just for technical reasons. I write when and what I feel like writing. I can see that the pressure of having to produce writing on a short-term basis, especially geared to the “entertainment” and interests of your readers, may entail a certain disquiet (German, Rat- o. Rastlosigkeit), as expressed in your questioning. What do you expect? To think that the “professional writers who know what they are doing” are the best writers is, to my mind, the closest you might want to come to relativizing your claim to being 100% free of cynicism. I like a good meal as much as the next person, but I do not need to be made aware of how and with what-all it was prepared: beyond my enjoyment, what I take in is destined for deeper and simpler processes. How much control do I think I can or need to exert over that?
Em… Jean-Marie, what exactly is your question?
You mean people who write intuitively can be good writers, too?
Of course they can!
Are intuitive writers necessarily better writers? No.
Lovely post. A thousand roses to you.