By Frans Franciscus
Yes.
Your eyes are fine.
And I still love you.
Yet.. I want you to unsubscribe from my mailing list, if you hate the changes I am going to make.
(What? you shout in agony, Changes Again?)
Again.
If I, at 51, have finally learned one thing it is that I will keep changing my mind until the day I die.
(And then I will probably change my mind about the funeral.)
So.
Over the last five years I have spent most of my creative energy making images. And loving it.
I do not intend to stop making them, either.
It is just this. That when I embarked on last summer’s path of finding out how to write a better blog, which led me to take a look at my Google stats, which then turned into a quest to find the holy grail of online marketing, and had me apply new marketing techniques like a real popup (which since has stopped working), all of which finally led me to signing up for an online course on guestblogging…
I rediscovered my love of writing
I have taught journalism for quite a few years, but gaining more insight in the blogging world has made me realize there are many other types of writing that I like. It has also shown me that the Dutch blogosphere can do with a few more writing teachers. So right now I am taking a good look at persuasive writing and together with copywriter Karim Moumen and online marketeer Janneke Romijn I have set up the Blogsalon. Which we consecutively renamed into Blogstylers.nl. We are developing and teaching workshops and partly on- and partly offline writing and blogging courses. (In Dutch).
All this is taking up a lot of my happy time and creative energy.
Which is why I still haven’t started making art again
And yet I miss writing a more personal blog.
Before, I would never really allow myself to write here unless I had made some new art to show.
And right now it seems like that might still be a while.
So here’s the thing.
I want to keep writing here, but less often than before.
I need to feel less guilty about not producing new pictures.
After all, why should I feel bad? I am sure you can survive for a few more days without them.
So why?
Because honestly, I am a little embarrassed
About being so fickle.
About changing my life’s direction whichever way the wind blows every so often.
And I want to shed that embarrassment.
Because it is holding me back from fully enjoying all the great things I am doing.
Here’s what I have realized:
I am just too creative and I can’t stand boredom
By stating I am creative I am not saying I am a creative genius. Just that any day I do not create for me seems a day wasted. It does not matter wheter I bake a bread, write an article or do a collage. It has always been that way for me. I need to make.
New things.
Different things.
So I keep changing.
The other thing is boredom
Being bored happens quickly for me.
Being bored drove me crazy at school, where at the end of the day my entire body was itching and I was ready to run away forever to a land where I could live the way I wanted. (I did run away. Twice).
Being bored made me study English, for half a year, then become a journalist trainee, for a year, then study journalism, travel trough Africa, and next study history, after which I went back into journalism.
I wasn’t being fickle.
I was bored.
I recently realized that I live to learn new things – often passing them on. I learn, I teach, I help my live and online friends with my new found knowledge, and move on.
Then I read about passion pluralites
It was Melissa Dinwiddie, an American art coach, calligrapher, writer, artist and singer-songwriter, who called herself that. Right here.
And when I read her blog post, I wanted to shout out: me too, me too, I am a Renaissance woman as well, count me in!
For years I had felt bad. What, I liked to sew, AND knit (before RSI made it impossible), AND quilt, AND write, AND write poetry, AND teach, AND make digital art, AND make my own websites (and change their design every six months) – honestly, how serious could I be?
Well, pretty serious. You might even say I do everything with an intensity that is bordering on the ludicrous.
Anyway.
Melissa asked me for an interview recently. I decided to be frank.
I said a lot of things in there that I have never said online before.
And I liked it and I decided that is going to be the new me.
You may take it or leave me
Here is what you need to know.
I am not going to send out any more newsletters.
I am going to send you links to my blog posts instead.
There won’t be so many. No more than one a week, probably fewer.
And if you don’t want them feel free to unsubscribe.
Because I want my readers to be friends.
I don’t care for customers.
I care for good conversation.
So join me, if you like.
Let’s talk together.
Whichever way you decide, I’ll still love you.
Tags: changing my mind, creative energy, marketing techniques, personal blog, persuasive writing
I’m sticking with you, Kitty. Whatever you write in English, I will read. Good luck in your endeavors! Fickle people thrill me, the world needs more of them.
Thanks Jennifer! We’ll talk then ;-)
Hi Kitty,
I loved your interview with Melissa and I’m staying! In fact everything you are saying about being fickle and endlessly changing direction makes me feel so much better about myself – so more of your honest words will be great.
Thanks,
Debra
Me so happy you picked up writing again :), and dived into blogging! Your blog articles are among the best in the Netherlands, and it’s great to work with you at the Blogstylers.
BTW, your art is great as well, and I’m planning on buying a painting, as soon as I earn that six figure income :)
The more people I meet, the more I am convinced that those of us who are “fickle” are in the majority, not the minority. We just don’t talk about it. But we shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, either.
You and I are very much alike in that I want to do so many things . . . at the same time. I used to get so frustrated because I wished I could just stick to one thing, but then I read this book by Barbara Sher called “Refuse to Choose!” and the clouds parted for me.
We are what Barbara Sher calls a “Scanner”. This is a good description: “Scanners don’t love to do one thing or the other; they love them all. To Scanners, the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities, and all they want is to reach out and stuff their pockets.”
If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. I no longer feel guilty for wanting to stuff my pocket full of candy ;-).
You know you and I are kindred spirits, Kitty! When I finally accepted and embraced that I’m a Passion Pluralite (Bliss-Diverse, a Scanner, a Renaissance woman, Multi-passionate, etc. etc. etc.), life got a whole lot better.
We PPs are creative and smart, and yes, easily bored! Like Jeanne, Barbara Sher’s book parted some clouds for me — for one thing, the notion that just because an interest in something might be short-lived does NOT mean that one is a flake!
Sher uses the analogy of a honeybee, who flies around from flower to flower. It hangs out at a flower for precisely as long as it needs to in order to get what it needs, and not one second longer; then it’s on to the next flower.
We don’t tsk-tsk the honeybee for having a “commitment problem” or being a flake! It’s doing what honeybees are supposed to do!
Same with us. We’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to do. Owning that is such an enormous comfort and relief. I can let my heart lead me where it will, and just enjoy the journey.
Glad I’m sharing the journey with you, Kitty! I just love what you create, words, paintings, all of it! Whatever you put out into the world, sign me up for it. :)
xoMelissa
ps – Thank you for the lovely mention. And for contributing such an inspiring interview to my blog!
Wow. Good for you. We don’t have any choice but to be who we are. And to do our best. Good luck on the next leg of your journey as a multi-hued. multi-talented, multi-multi person.
Mike
Hi Kitty,
I like your style.. Writing style. Thinking style. Artistic style. Blogging style.
I’m a new reader, so I checked out some of the links above and read some of your other posts.
I guess I’ve been reading too many blogs written by men.
Your posts are very refreshing and thought-provoking. http://kittykilian.nl/women-who-blog-and-say-fuck/.
I can’t unsubscribe because I was not previously a friend, but I am ready for some inspiration! So I will become a new friend.
Kitty, you rock! Go for what makes you happy – all of it :-)
I love the positive attitude and the fact you are constantly challenging yourself.
The fact you taught journalism, and love writing, already puts you at an advantage to grow your blog and write the way you want.
I’m currently a print journalism major. Although I don’t have any passions of becoming a journalist, I have realized that blogging and writing to an audience is in fact journalism.
Keep doing what you love, and don’t apologize for it.
It is journalism. And copywriting.
I think this was a great idea! I always like it when people are clear that they are not looking to “keep” me as a reader if it’s not a good fit for me. It shows a commitment to delivering quality content for people who can really use it.
As for being ‘fickle” – I would not call it that. I’d say that you’re growing like all smart people do, and are putting your energy where it needs to go.
It is funny how there’s a stigma attached to the honeybee or the Scanner or the pluralite when really we are all so multi-faceted and multi-talented people that it would be extraordinary if we all just picked one thing and stuck to it.
People like that scare me actually – what happens if they can’t do that one thing anymore? What happens to them then?
Good on you Kitty for standing up for your beliefs and I love your writing style – can’t wait to get those new links and some Kitty Kilian wallpaper!
Actually, you know what, you are right! Although I do know a lot of people who never change hobbies or profession..
Good for you, Kitty. I gave up music because it’s such a lousy way to earn a living. I felt a little “less human” until I picked up the trumpet again and got my chops back in shape. Now it’s not how I earn my living, but it’s such an important part of my life. My office is a Feng Shui nightmare of writing, books, music, trumpets (7 of them) and there’s even an easel in the corner. We’re not here to be bored; we’re here to experience life to the fullest.
Kitty,
That makes a lot of sense to me! I used to regularly change jobs because I got bored so quickly. I was a consultant for a long time because it allowed me to change projects and clients often. But then I got bored of that! I’ve also created and thrown away many blogs and businesses. Anyway, creativity and new things are my lifeblood but I’ve decided to add some stability that the creativity can revolve around. I try a lot of new things but I tie them back to my main pillar. I’m doing this because it’s hard to have a business while being inconsistent with it. I’m looking forward to seeing more of your new direction unfold!
Scanners huh.. been thinking about that… that’s another word for it ;-)
Hi there Kitty! I had not visited in quite awhile…but here you are being your full-out creative self. And I’m glad because you say some very true (and funny) things about creativity. I too am a maker who spends most days chasing my tail or going from one interesting thing to another. I do get lots done, and I really like my life, so I guess everything is fine. Plenty of people have looked at me and thought ADHD! But, fuck ‘em I say.
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